RE:think

Marriage: Always Learning

This past weekend, as I mentioned elsewhere, it was family reunion time for Evette's brood. For many reason, none of which are a reflection on her family, these grind away at my nerves. I like to get there late and leave early. It's always very hot, outside, and lots of people. But this year, I decided to slow down, give it a chance and try to enjoy it. Why?

Well, I love my wife. And I love her family. And I want to enjoy these times with her. I also know that these important occasions in the life of her family have to be important to me as well. And having kids, it is very important to them too.

When a couple gets married the biggest thing that they have to learn and improve on daily, in my opinion, is sacrifice. We human beings are selfish creatures and I am chief of the tribe. We want what we want, when we want it. Those closest to us, our spouses, deserve better. Again, my opinion. Maybe you and yours have fun kicking the crap out of each other and doing  your own things. If so, good luck with your next marriage.

Oh, back to the reunion. Ya know what? I had a GOOD time, got to know a couple of the guys my age a little better, and think I have some friends to hang out with in the future at these events. Sometimes, when you do the right thing, and sacrifice, there is the chance of gaining something in return. It's not the point, because it doesn't always happen, but it's sweet when it does.

I know you are reading Evette, and so I say, I hope I am doing a little bit better than 12 years ago. But if I'm not, you still don't get to kick the crap out of me.

Project 12

This past Sunday Evette and I celebrated 12 years of marriage. It was a special day even if fairly ordinary. Anytime I get the chance to celebrate OUR day with my best friend is cool.

So this year I wanted to do something different and special for her. What I came up with was what our good friend Kristine dubbed "Project 12". I gathered a few words from friends and family about Evette, myself, and what they think of us and our marriage. I got many wonderful responses and they came from everywhere. Family, friends around town, and our dear blogging friends.

I printed it all pretty like on some fancy paper and gave it to Evette. She loved it. We thank all of you who participated and it was awesome celebrating with you.

Mom watched the kids and we went out dinner and a movie. I love the little rugrats, but it is always nice to enjoy a meal with it being just the two of us. After dinner we went to see National Treasure 2 and found it to be very entertaining.

So here's to many more years with my awesome sweetheart....

My Awesome Wife

This past week my wife allowed me, with some extra money, to buy a couple of things for myself. One I needed, the other I really didn't. That isn't so surprising, because she's awesome that way. What is surprising is that I actually did it. I never buy anything for myself and can be quite the tight wad. Buyers remorse is a way of life for me. So far so good on that front. A kind and supportive wife goes a long way to helping with that.

So here's to my awesome wife who let me buy what you see above. Yes, that's a MacBook and iPhone. I love her dearly and pray that I don't hear about it later. :) Just kidding babe. Now everyone join me in letting her know just how great she is!

(p.s. Before you start to envy me too much, this is like Birthdays, Christmas', and Anniversaries for the next upmteen years for me. Or so I'm told.)

And here she is. She's pretty hot.

Technorati Tags: Awesome Wives, MacBook, iPhone

I Told You She's a Geek Now

Here is my wife. Playing Super Paper Mario on the Wii with a laptop to look at walkthroughs and cheats. Wow. This is just pure crazy. The world has turned upside down.

Huge Announcement About My Blog...

Is coming tonight or tomorrow. It's gonna be great!!!

Let the suspense commence.

Hot Date

No kids tonight.

Dinner out with my Wife.

Maybe a movie, who knows.

Did I mention no kids?

Yay ME.

When Richard Met Evette Part IV

When we left off, I had proposed, Evette had accepted and we began planning our wedding. Neither of us had our own place, so In December we began apartment shopping. This takes us to our first 'issue' as a couple.

The first apartment we went to check out was decent and fit us financially. I arrived first and made sure I looked my best. The owner and his wife immediately liked me and began talking as if I lived there already. Another couple showed up at the same time as Evette, both white, and the owner immediately gave us the cold shoulder and hardly said another word to us the rest of our time there. As we left, he said he'd call. Of course he never did. So I called him. He gave some lame excuse about a better prospect.

We found another place and I went alone. It was close to my family, and a steal of a deal. It went well and I told the guy I wanted the place. It was raining, so we sat in his truck as I filled out the paperwork. He says, "Now let me tell ya something, there's a black fella that will be next door to you. I hope that isn't a problem. He's a really nice guy." I laughed so hard on the inside I nearly burst. Imagine the landlord's surprise when he came to replace a water heater 6 months later and finally met Evette. :)

So we had a place and I got Evette and Zxy moved in around New Years and I continued to stay at Dad's until the wedding. The wedding was very humble, but both families pitched in on everything and it turned out to be a wonderful time. I am sure Evette could give a much better run down on the wedding and I'll have her do it at her site.

So, here we are 11 years later. Today is our anniversary. In some ways it's been a long 11 years. I remember the first year and how sweet it was. I remember year three when I didn't think we were going to make it. I think of our children's births and buying our house. I think of 2 job layoffs and now being on my 4th different job since being married. It's amazing to me how much has happened and how much has changed. But there is one thing I promise hasn't changed. I love my wife. I love her with all my heart. I'm glad she puts up with me and I hope she appreciates me returning the favor. :) Just kidding. I got the better end of the deal by miles.

When Richard Met Evette Part III

I decided that I did indeed intend to marry this woman. It had only been 3 months, but I would propose. I did the ring buying thing and took Evette and Zxyan out to dinner. Like I said, Zxy was included in everything. I was going to do this right.

I thought I'd to do it over dinner and was as nervous as I have ever been. I reached across the table to hold her and placed the ring there. Her face lit up, I asked the question and she said yes. But I wasn't done. I gave her box and it contained a pair of earrings for Zxy. It was a package deal after all and what a wonderful package I was blessed with.

I wasn't totally sure what I was getting into, but I knew that I loved Evette with all my heart and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. To know she wanted the same with me made me wonder what in the heck was wrong with her. :)

We decided we didn't want to wait too long. It was high time I left my Dad's house and she had living space issues as well. We set the date for January 27th, 6 months after meeting, and planned a very humble, yet beautiful wedding.

Tomorrow is our anniversary and I'll cover the apartment story and our wedding in the final installment.

When Richard Met Evette Part II

We went out on a Friday night and chose one of the worst possible movies to go to see. Although Evette likes the movie to this day. We started at Applebee's for dinner and were all business about getting to know one another. No long pauses in this conversation. It was refreshing to go out with someone that I could actually get to talk. I learned that she knew what she wanted and it synced up with what I wanted. I couldn't tell you what we had to eat that night, but I can tell you that Evette was stunning. After dinner we headed to the Mall for the movie.

My sister was working at the local mall back then, so I took Evette by to meet her. I had dated outside my race before, but it was still a little fun to see her reaction. (Actually, reactions are still fun to this day. I need to tell you our apartment hunting story sometime. Actually, it will be in the story this week.) By now you are dying to know what the movie was, right?

Congo. Yes, the one about the killer apes. Hideous. What a first date movie. But at least Evette seemed to like it. I guess I did at the time. Everything is roses when things are brand new. If I am honest, I do have a sentimental place in my heart for the movie. It's tiny, but there.

So the next day, I was to meet her daughter, the now nearly 13 year old Zxyan. I met up with them and had a rose for each. Yes, I used to be very romantic. Zxy and I hit it off almost immediately and everything just felt 'right'. I did in fact know then that I'd love this little girl too. We spent the next couple of months getting to know each other and Zxyan was included in everything. We started to talk marriage in the first month, but didn't make any decisions. Then in October...

When Richard Met Evette Part I

I recently had a request to post how Evette and I met. How does a trailer park bred white boy end up with a black gal from the city anyway? It is perfect timing as our 10 year anniversary is coming up on Friday. I hope to not bore you with the story, but it really is a sweet one IMHO. Matter of fact, very soon, our story will be published in a collection of love stories. I'll give you more info on that as I get it.

It was early July in the summer of '96 and I had finally left behind a rough two years spent getting over and moving past a serious relationship that ended up not working. (Evette's side of the story is very similar) For the first time in nearly six years I was completely free, single, young man in my early 20's. No more girlfriends and certainly no engagements. I was going to be like high school, where I didn't give my heart to anyone and just enjoyed life. The best laid plans...

So, I was recently out of school and was doing tech support for an online company called Prodigy. Many of you internet/bb old timers will know what Prodigy was. We were located in a large call center with a cubicle farm environment. Think Office Space. Evette worked at the same place for another vendor and I noticed her across the room. Now, she'll tell you it was ALL me. But the reason I noticed her was because she was checking me out so often. :) This eye contact flirting went on for a few days I guess. Finally, a friend of mine who had break at the same time as her decides to grab the digits for me. That's right, now I have her phone number. I didn't immediately call, but we did end up talking shortly after.

Our breaks were at different times so we couldn't meet up there and talk. My friends made it happen though. They covered and made certain I could go when she went so we could properly meet. We hit it off immediately and found each other very easy to talk to. I was sure that I would end up in love with this woman. She told me up front that she had a little girl who had recently turned a year old. I think she was surprised that it wasn't an issue for me. I was gonna love that little girl too after all.

They were going out of town to visit relatives for a couple of days and we'd try to go out after that. And we did. I'll tell you about the first date and a few events after that in the next post.

Technorati Tags: dating, relationships