Hey, Ya Know What?

Best of HYKW: November 2007

The Wisdom of Children - (one of my all time favs)

I learn lessons from my kids all the time. And sometimes I learn what innocence is all about. I get to see the world through the eyes of my kids, the way I ought to.

My youngest, Riley, is my little buddy. I am not sure why sometimes, but he absolutely adores his Daddy. If I am home he never more than a few feet away. I think, probably for that reason, I talk with him more than just about anyone. And for a four year old, the boy can do some talking.

I ask him all the time "are you Daddy's little man"?" He always answers with a resounding, "Yes!" A few nights ago when I asked and he gave his usual reply, he added that Ricky, his big brother, is my big man. I found this interesting. He said it very, peacefully, and has no malice or jealousy attached to it. So I asked...

"You're really ok being the little man aren't you?"

To which he answered, "Yeah, I like being the little man. Nobody else is your little man."

After I got past the lump in my throat and the watery eyes, I realized that Riles is completely happy with his spot in life right now. He is so much more content than anyone else I know. I know it won't always be that way, but it's nice seeing how things ought to be, especially through my own little ones.

So be like Riles! Wherever you and whatever you are doing, try be happy being in that place. It's much easier to get through life when we aren't coveting the things we don't have and envying others for having them.

I learn lessons from my kids all the time. And sometimes I learn what innocence is all about. I get to see the world through the eyes of my kids, the way I ought to.

My youngest, Riley, is my little buddy. I am not sure why sometimes, but he absolutely adores his Daddy. If I am home he never more than a few feet away. I think, probably for that reason, I talk with him more than just about anyone. And for a four year old, the boy can do some talking.

I ask him all the time "are you Daddy's little man"?" He always answers with a resounding, "Yes!" A few nights ago when I asked and he gave his usual reply, he added that Ricky, his big brother, is my big man. I found this interesting. He said it very, peacefully, and has no malice or jealousy attached to it. So I asked...

"You're really ok being the little man aren't you?"

To which he answered, "Yeah, I like being the little man. Nobody else is your little man."

After I got past the lump in my throat and the watery eyes, I realized that Riles is completely happy with his spot in life right now. He is so much more content than anyone else I know. I know it won't always be that way, but it's nice seeing how things ought to be, especially through my own little ones.

So be like Riles! Wherever you and whatever you are doing, try be happy being in that place. It's much easier to get through life when we aren't coveting the things we don't have and envying others for having them.

Best of HYKW: October 2007

On Being Missional... Buy Local.

Our little town is going through quite the retail outlet and restaurant boom. We have large shopping complexes going up right and left. They are full of chain stores like Target, Old Navy, Lifeway, and Books-a-Million. There are chain restaurants either already in or on the way. We are even getting our very first Starbucks. Evette is very excited about that. She loves kool-aid coffee in cups who's sizes have cool nonstandard names.

But I am a little worried by all of this. What will all of this do to a town that has always had thriving Mom and Pops and quaint little coffee shops and restaurants?Wal Mart has already done a number here. Most folks are excited we are growing. They are glad that we'll have all these new places to go and spend our money. And I will admit, I will enjoy having more choices.

But I think a very practical, missional thing we can all do is to continue our support of local business. We do more shopping at Wal Mart than I would like, but we do try to frequent a local grocery chain all we can. Likewise, we've not had a Starbucks before and do not need one now. So I won't be feeding their corporate machine and hope to talk Evette out of it. She has a favorite coffee shop in town and I don't think she'll forsake it for the siren's call. Oh, and we'll still buy books at our local store and stay away from Lifeway. Lifeway creeps me out anyway with their books about people going to heaven and hell and coming back.

So, I propose that if you want to do something very simple for your community in your everyday life, go out to the old local shops as much as you can. Support them, get to know them. Tell them how much you appreciate what they add to your community. Encourage others to meet in these places.You can go to those other places, I know I will go to many of them myself, but don't be to wowed by their cool logos and all the hype to the point you forget the little guy. The folks who put those businesses there did it for money. Most if not all of your local businesses do it for more than that.

Technorati: Local Business Target Starbucks Lifeway

Best of HYKW: September 2007

The Pledge

My last post got me thinking about the Pledge of Allegiance. I can remember saying it all through school and being very proud. The ideas in this short succinct pledge are what we should strive for as a nation.

The Pledge has also been quite the controversial subject in recent years.

Back in 2002 a firestorm was set off when an atheist father in San Francisco objected to the words "Under God" and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that those words were unconstitutional. It eventually went to the Supreme Court who dismissed the father's case because he could not represent his daughter legally as a non-custodial parent. They never got to the constitutionality of the pledge. The fight still goes on in some places and Christians are at the front, leading the charge to keep these words in the pledge.

(It is noteworthy to mention the words "Under God" were added in 1954 and were not part of the original pledge.)

So there are some strong feelings about this pledge on both sides. It has been a very emotional issue. And what I am about to do may anger some people. But understand, this is the way I see us living out the pledge. The pledge itself has some wonderful ideals but I find it controversial for a different reason that the one above. We do a terrible job at upholding those good ideals. So here is what I think our functional pledge is:

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America

And to the republic, for which it sometimes stands,

A broken nation, not so much under God,

Functionally divided, with liberty and justice for me and those most like me.

I realize that this may not be true across the board but unfortunately, there is much truth to it. We are divided politically, racially, and even by gender at times. Class divides us (even in the Church) and the culture wars are taking their toll. We view our fellow Americans with blinders on. We can't see the plight of those not like us and can not be solutions to the problems even if we want to.

We need to be as concerned with the ideas of unity, freedom, and justice as we are with the "under God" line. Those ideas are Godly pursuits and it is high time that we admit we are falling well short and start doing something about it. Let's take the blinders off and see those folks that live a few blocks away who do not have it as good as we do. If we do not, there is "NOTHING for all."

I am very glad I live in the U.S. I am very blessed living here. We have more freedom than any other country in the world. We have brave men and women who have fought for that freedom. Both of my grandfather's fought and one was wounded. I am very proud of them both. So please do not label me a basher.

I am far from anti-American. I just wish we would quit lying to ourselves, especially us Christians. We have got to do better. We need to serve the Kingdom first. It is time to put as much time, effort and money into justice and related subjects as we do what words are in our pledge and what documents appear in our public buildings. And more than that, we need to put our hearts and souls into the work that it will take to transform our society. For Christians, it has to be Kingdom thing before anything else.

For your reading pleasure, I found this article. It has a few variations and rewrites on the pledge as well as the 4 official versions. Some are funny and others serious.

Technorati Tags: American Flag, Pledge of Allegiance

My last post got me thinking about the Pledge of Allegiance. I can remember saying it all through school and being very proud. The ideas in this short succinct pledge are what we should strive for as a nation.

The Pledge has also been quite the controversial subject in recent years.

Back in 2002 a firestorm was set off when an atheist father in San Francisco objected to the words "Under God" and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that those words were unconstitutional. It eventually went to the Supreme Court who dismissed the father's case because he could not represent his daughter legally as a non-custodial parent. They never got to the constitutionality of the pledge. The fight still goes on in some places and Christians are at the front, leading the charge to keep these words in the pledge.

(It is noteworthy to mention the words "Under God" were added in 1954 and were not part of the original pledge.)

So there are some strong feelings about this pledge on both sides. It has been a very emotional issue. And what I am about to do may anger some people. But understand, this is the way I see us living out the pledge. The pledge itself has some wonderful ideals but I find it controversial for a different reason that the one above. We do a terrible job at upholding those good ideals. So here is what I think our functional pledge is:

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America

And to the republic, for which it sometimes stands,

A broken nation, not so much under God,

Functionally divided, with liberty and justice for me and those most like me.

I realize that this may not be true across the board but unfortunately, there is much truth to it. We are divided politically, racially, and even by gender at times. Class divides us (even in the Church) and the culture wars are taking their toll. We view our fellow Americans with blinders on. We can't see the plight of those not like us and can not be solutions to the problems even if we want to.

We need to be as concerned with the ideas of unity, freedom, and justice as we are with the "under God" line. Those ideas are Godly pursuits and it is high time that we admit we are falling well short and start doing something about it. Let's take the blinders off and see those folks that live a few blocks away who do not have it as good as we do. If we do not, there is "NOTHING for all."

I am very glad I live in the U.S. I am very blessed living here. We have more freedom than any other country in the world. We have brave men and women who have fought for that freedom. Both of my grandfather's fought and one was wounded. I am very proud of them both. So please do not label me a basher.

I am far from anti-American. I just wish we would quit lying to ourselves, especially us Christians. We have got to do better. We need to serve the Kingdom first. It is time to put as much time, effort and money into justice and related subjects as we do what words are in our pledge and what documents appear in our public buildings. And more than that, we need to put our hearts and souls into the work that it will take to transform our society. For Christians, it has to be Kingdom thing before anything else.

For your reading pleasure, I found this article. It has a few variations and rewrites on the pledge as well as the 4 official versions. Some are funny and others serious.

Technorati Tags: American Flag, Pledge of Allegiance

Best of HYKW: August 2007

Moving on post-American Dream

There are dozens of "posts" in our current day and age. These include, but are surely not limited to, post-Christendom, post-modern, and post-colonial. I want to talk about another one though and how it relates to our mission as Christ's Body.

Growing up I was taught about the "American Dream". I never had a class that dealt with the term and never saw it in a text book, but I was taught it nonetheless. Basically, it was the idea that if I worked hard, was a good person, and was determined to be successful, I would be. This would bring me all the things that make life easier. Things like a good wife, a few kids, a nice house, a nice car, and all the handy things to put into that house to make life blissful. Maybe I'd even get a white picket fence. That's the dream. I know we could argue for hours on what the American Dream really is and what it consists of, but I think my description is a fair one as far as this post goes.

I was born in 1972. Kind a weird time for the American Dream. We were about to learn just how much we couldn't trust our government. We were about to see the divorce rate hop on a rocket and take off (my parents split up when I was 5). We were close to seeing our economy go on a virtually unending series of rises and falls. My generation was one of the first to see the American Dream for what it really was. A farce.

In many ways, I have achieved lots of the milestones associated with "the dream". I have also, many times, lived through the antitheses of "the dream". Most of the anti-dream stuff I have lived through was purely economic, but there are other issues out there that can all but obliterated "the dream". Divorce is a huge one. Absent parents has hurt. The emergence of an extremely individualistic society (one of the toys you try for while pursuing the dream) has done much harm.

This leaves many folks in our society in a weird kind of limbo. The generation before the Baby Boomers, "the Builders", still believes in "the dream". By and large they have lived it and still do.  Many Boomers I know still believe in it as well even if they haven't achieved it. My generation, the busters, or Gen-x, or whatever we are, have heard of it, been taught it, but by and large think it's not real. Then you have the Generation Y and Internet Generations who really don't know what it is and would laugh if you described it. Their world is much different than the Golden Age.

That's where the Church comes into the picture. We are called to be salt and light in the world. We live in a lost, hurting, and dying world. We say that all the time, but sometimes fail to define and describe what that means.

We live out amongst people who's lives flat out suck. They are on drugs or know someone close who is. They have AIDS. They live in a world where porn is easier to find than a clown at a circus. They're parents are not only split up, but neither of them care about them so now they don't know how love anyone. Those who's parents are together have watched them struggle to keep work, or have had a hard time finding or keeping work themselves and the only help they've received is from the government. In spite of medical advances they know someone close who has a cancer or some other terminal disease and know they will lose them to it and feel alone. They are mired in depression because of the ugly, violent world we live in. War and terrorism are words they are numb to now, but still haven't learned how to deal with.

What kind of Church do all of these people need to be reaching out to them? Do they need the churches full of folks who are taught to seek "the dream" and hold it up as God's favor? Do they need 10 steps to a better life? Do they need a church that preaches against them instead of wrapping it's arms around them? Think they'll respond to "good words and prayer" instead of action and love from a group of affluent believers who drive $50,000 dollar cars and live in houses too big for their families?

I don't mean to pick at other believers with those questions, but it's time that we, as a Church, once and for all put away this idea of the American Dream. We may not directly talk about it, but with our lives and actions, we are buying into it and functionally telling everyone that it's the pinnacle of living.

So I am going to go out and find these people. I am going to go and love them, and tell them about the real dream. I am going to go and let them know that there is indeed a God and not only does he love them, but he wants to redeem them and everything about their lives. He wants them to not only bring their lives to him, but their addictions, their broken relationships, their let downs, and all those things that get in the way of living life to the fullest. Because see, to be reconciled with God means that not only are they safe and redeemed for eternity and have a home with God in the future, but they have a relationship with the Almighty. That means that no matter what tries to move into their lives RIGHT NOW and make them miserable, he has already overcome it. That's a much better message that fire insurance. And he doesn't need to give them money and things and houses and cars to give them joy.

So let's go ahead and put out the smoldering pile that has been known as the "American Dream" and show people Jesus. He'll give them a new dream, a real dream, and live it with them.

(I have ranted a little. If I have offended, frustrated or aggravated, I apologize.)

There are dozens of "posts" in our current day and age. These include, but are surely not limited to, post-Christendom, post-modern, and post-colonial. I want to talk about another one though and how it relates to our mission as Christ's Body.

Growing up I was taught about the "American Dream". I never had a class that dealt with the term and never saw it in a text book, but I was taught it nonetheless. Basically, it was the idea that if I worked hard, was a good person, and was determined to be successful, I would be. This would bring me all the things that make life easier. Things like a good wife, a few kids, a nice house, a nice car, and all the handy things to put into that house to make life blissful. Maybe I'd even get a white picket fence. That's the dream. I know we could argue for hours on what the American Dream really is and what it consists of, but I think my description is a fair one as far as this post goes.

I was born in 1972. Kind a weird time for the American Dream. We were about to learn just how much we couldn't trust our government. We were about to see the divorce rate hop on a rocket and take off (my parents split up when I was 5). We were close to seeing our economy go on a virtually unending series of rises and falls. My generation was one of the first to see the American Dream for what it really was. A farce.

In many ways, I have achieved lots of the milestones associated with "the dream". I have also, many times, lived through the antitheses of "the dream". Most of the anti-dream stuff I have lived through was purely economic, but there are other issues out there that can all but obliterated "the dream". Divorce is a huge one. Absent parents has hurt. The emergence of an extremely individualistic society (one of the toys you try for while pursuing the dream) has done much harm.

This leaves many folks in our society in a weird kind of limbo. The generation before the Baby Boomers, "the Builders", still believes in "the dream". By and large they have lived it and still do.  Many Boomers I know still believe in it as well even if they haven't achieved it. My generation, the busters, or Gen-x, or whatever we are, have heard of it, been taught it, but by and large think it's not real. Then you have the Generation Y and Internet Generations who really don't know what it is and would laugh if you described it. Their world is much different than the Golden Age.

That's where the Church comes into the picture. We are called to be salt and light in the world. We live in a lost, hurting, and dying world. We say that all the time, but sometimes fail to define and describe what that means.

We live out amongst people who's lives flat out suck. They are on drugs or know someone close who is. They have AIDS. They live in a world where porn is easier to find than a clown at a circus. They're parents are not only split up, but neither of them care about them so now they don't know how love anyone. Those who's parents are together have watched them struggle to keep work, or have had a hard time finding or keeping work themselves and the only help they've received is from the government. In spite of medical advances they know someone close who has a cancer or some other terminal disease and know they will lose them to it and feel alone. They are mired in depression because of the ugly, violent world we live in. War and terrorism are words they are numb to now, but still haven't learned how to deal with.

What kind of Church do all of these people need to be reaching out to them? Do they need the churches full of folks who are taught to seek "the dream" and hold it up as God's favor? Do they need 10 steps to a better life? Do they need a church that preaches against them instead of wrapping it's arms around them? Think they'll respond to "good words and prayer" instead of action and love from a group of affluent believers who drive $50,000 dollar cars and live in houses too big for their families?

I don't mean to pick at other believers with those questions, but it's time that we, as a Church, once and for all put away this idea of the American Dream. We may not directly talk about it, but with our lives and actions, we are buying into it and functionally telling everyone that it's the pinnacle of living.

So I am going to go out and find these people. I am going to go and love them, and tell them about the real dream. I am going to go and let them know that there is indeed a God and not only does he love them, but he wants to redeem them and everything about their lives. He wants them to not only bring their lives to him, but their addictions, their broken relationships, their let downs, and all those things that get in the way of living life to the fullest. Because see, to be reconciled with God means that not only are they safe and redeemed for eternity and have a home with God in the future, but they have a relationship with the Almighty. That means that no matter what tries to move into their lives RIGHT NOW and make them miserable, he has already overcome it. That's a much better message that fire insurance. And he doesn't need to give them money and things and houses and cars to give them joy.

So let's go ahead and put out the smoldering pile that has been known as the "American Dream" and show people Jesus. He'll give them a new dream, a real dream, and live it with them.

(I have ranted a little. If I have offended, frustrated or aggravated, I apologize.)

Best of HYKW: July 2007

Church Economy

Sounds like an oxymoron huh? You may be wondering why I even brought this up. Well, I have recently had more than a few conversations with young adult non-Christians about what bothers them most about the “Church” and Christianity. I was trying to find out what their turn offs were and what keeps them from making Christianity a part of their search for things spiritual. What was one of the big reasons that each had on their list? Money. (Remember that I am in the USA, these folks are, and their experiences are with Christianity in America. I know that it’s not like this everywhere in the world.)

They tell me they can’t trust an organization that takes in so much money and does, in their opinion, very little with it. I realize that they may not be totally fair when passing this judgment, but there is some merit to it.

They tell me that the way the Church and its people handle money is no different to them than the way anyone else handles money. They see the Church as offering goods and services in exchange for money. And while they know that churches are nonprofit organizations, they see big fancy buildings, preachers in thousand dollar suits driving cars that cost more than $50,000 dollars, and youth groups making money for what amounts to fun trips to the beach. Hard to argue with these observations.

They tell me that the “ministries” they see on TV ask for a lot of money, live the high life, and make no noticeable difference in the world. They see elaborate sets and again, expensive clothes and wonder if that’s what it’s all about. They see these folks as taking advantage of othes for the sake of the almighty dollar. I can't disagree here either.

So here is my take. I understand that any organization that takes in money, will inevitably end up with an “economy”. And while I enjoy and agree with capitalism in our secular realms, the description in Acts sounds a little more, gasp, socialist, to me. See Acts 3:44-45. That verse doesn’t sound like capitalism to me. Am I going to go sell all my stuff? No. But I think totally ignoring this has lead to the government taking over the role of the Church through social programs. Now we are in a mess. Why has the Church in America dropped the ball on this?

Do you think the overall way money gets handled in churches and the Church might be problematic? If so how? Do these folks outside the Church have a point? Is even something we are obligated to address with them? How would you respond to their concerns?

Sounds like an oxymoron huh? You may be wondering why I even brought this up. Well, I have recently had more than a few conversations with young adult non-Christians about what bothers them most about the “Church” and Christianity. I was trying to find out what their turn offs were and what keeps them from making Christianity a part of their search for things spiritual. What was one of the big reasons that each had on their list? Money. (Remember that I am in the USA, these folks are, and their experiences are with Christianity in America. I know that it’s not like this everywhere in the world.)

They tell me they can’t trust an organization that takes in so much money and does, in their opinion, very little with it. I realize that they may not be totally fair when passing this judgment, but there is some merit to it.

They tell me that the way the Church and its people handle money is no different to them than the way anyone else handles money. They see the Church as offering goods and services in exchange for money. And while they know that churches are nonprofit organizations, they see big fancy buildings, preachers in thousand dollar suits driving cars that cost more than $50,000 dollars, and youth groups making money for what amounts to fun trips to the beach. Hard to argue with these observations.

They tell me that the “ministries” they see on TV ask for a lot of money, live the high life, and make no noticeable difference in the world. They see elaborate sets and again, expensive clothes and wonder if that’s what it’s all about. They see these folks as taking advantage of othes for the sake of the almighty dollar. I can't disagree here either.

So here is my take. I understand that any organization that takes in money, will inevitably end up with an “economy”. And while I enjoy and agree with capitalism in our secular realms, the description in Acts sounds a little more, gasp, socialist, to me. See Acts 3:44-45. That verse doesn’t sound like capitalism to me. Am I going to go sell all my stuff? No. But I think totally ignoring this has lead to the government taking over the role of the Church through social programs. Now we are in a mess. Why has the Church in America dropped the ball on this?

Do you think the overall way money gets handled in churches and the Church might be problematic? If so how? Do these folks outside the Church have a point? Is even something we are obligated to address with them? How would you respond to their concerns?

Best of HYKW: June 2007

Costs of Ministry

Evette and I are learning what ministry in the lives of others can cost. I really hesitate to even talk about it because I don't want anyone to get the idea that we are tooting our own horn. We are simply doing what we feel God has led us to do.

We are finding out that doing the will of God and helping folks not as fortunate as we are is costly.

I was talking to my pastor yesterday and he made a statement that is so true. Lots of folks go to extremes on the continuum of how we help the poor. We can go too far right and have an almost Darwinian-survival-of-the-fittest-pull-yourself-up-by-your-own-boot-straps kind of attitude. Or, we can go ultra liberal and give and give and give with no expectations from those we are giving to. The truth is, its really somewhere in the middle.

So what costs have we run into?

Time - If you are truly going to help others and try to both help and speak truth into their lives, you will burn a good deal of your time. This happens both in physically ministering and preparing/thinking/praying about how to do it.

Money - In our current situation, we haven't gone overboard but have spent a considerable amount of money to help.

Comfort - We have lost a good deal of personal comfort in our current ministry situation.

Family time - I hate to even speak of this one because it feels so ugly. But God does in fact take time away from our family to help. I imagine some situations allow a family effort, but the one we are involved in does not at this time.

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones I can think of now. In spite of this, because it IS a God thing, it has been such a blessing. So, tomorrow, I will talk rewards. I don't begrudge any of these costs.

What's the point of this post? It's kinda crazy for me to tell anyone what to expect, but that's really it. I am putting it out there to say "hey, it ain't glamorous". I know plenty of you who read, both those I know well and those I do not, are involved in ministering to the "least of these" or will be in the future. So it's good to talk it out with you.

What are your experiences?

Evette and I are learning what ministry in the lives of others can cost. I really hesitate to even talk about it because I don't want anyone to get the idea that we are tooting our own horn. We are simply doing what we feel God has led us to do.

We are finding out that doing the will of God and helping folks not as fortunate as we are is costly.

I was talking to my pastor yesterday and he made a statement that is so true. Lots of folks go to extremes on the continuum of how we help the poor. We can go too far right and have an almost Darwinian-survival-of-the-fittest-pull-yourself-up-by-your-own-boot-straps kind of attitude. Or, we can go ultra liberal and give and give and give with no expectations from those we are giving to. The truth is, its really somewhere in the middle.

So what costs have we run into?

Time - If you are truly going to help others and try to both help and speak truth into their lives, you will burn a good deal of your time. This happens both in physically ministering and preparing/thinking/praying about how to do it.

Money - In our current situation, we haven't gone overboard but have spent a considerable amount of money to help.

Comfort - We have lost a good deal of personal comfort in our current ministry situation.

Family time - I hate to even speak of this one because it feels so ugly. But God does in fact take time away from our family to help. I imagine some situations allow a family effort, but the one we are involved in does not at this time.

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones I can think of now. In spite of this, because it IS a God thing, it has been such a blessing. So, tomorrow, I will talk rewards. I don't begrudge any of these costs.

What's the point of this post? It's kinda crazy for me to tell anyone what to expect, but that's really it. I am putting it out there to say "hey, it ain't glamorous". I know plenty of you who read, both those I know well and those I do not, are involved in ministering to the "least of these" or will be in the future. So it's good to talk it out with you.

What are your experiences?

Best of HYKW: May 2007

My Wife, The Geek - (don't want to miss a chance to repost this!!!)

After many long years of trying to mold my beautiful bride into a geek like me, I think I've succeeded. Here is my proof. Sorry honey but I've gotta do this. I won't live alone as a geek when you too have become one. You harassed me way too many times about being a geek for me to not announce to the world how you have become one yourself.

1. She is a huge fan, along with me, of the TV series Heroes. This show is probably the biggest hit for geeks on TV in years. Its comic books come to life without the goofy costumes.

2. Not only is she a big fan of the show, she has been out on the internet finding episode spoilers. My geek radar is about to peak...

3. She has become a big time Nintendo fan girl and gamer since we got our Wii. She logs more time on that thing than any of us.

4. Oh yeah, she also hits the internet for cheats and Easter eggs for games.

5. In the past couple of years, through school, she has become a computer software guru in many ways.

Vette, welcome to geekdom. We are glad to have you.

Next thing you know you'll want to go to Dragoncon with me...

After many long years of trying to mold my beautiful bride into a geek like me, I think I've succeeded. Here is my proof. Sorry honey but I've gotta do this. I won't live alone as a geek when you too have become one. You harassed me way too many times about being a geek for me to not announce to the world how you have become one yourself.

1. She is a huge fan, along with me, of the TV series Heroes. This show is probably the biggest hit for geeks on TV in years. Its comic books come to life without the goofy costumes.

2. Not only is she a big fan of the show, she has been out on the internet finding episode spoilers. My geek radar is about to peak...

3. She has become a big time Nintendo fan girl and gamer since we got our Wii. She logs more time on that thing than any of us.

4. Oh yeah, she also hits the internet for cheats and Easter eggs for games.

5. In the past couple of years, through school, she has become a computer software guru in many ways.

Vette, welcome to geekdom. We are glad to have you.

Next thing you know you'll want to go to Dragoncon with me...

Best of HYKW: April 2007

If You Have Kids...

I have four children. I love them all very much. And I have to purpose myself to be a good Dad. It doesn't come easy and sometimes it doesn't come naturally. I wish it did, but it doesn't. So, If you have kids or plan to one day, here's some advice. Granted, am not an expert and don't always have it all together, but with the help of my parents, I have learned a few things.

1. You can NEVER tell them "I love you" too much.

2. Make sure that at least once a day, when you tell them you love them you look them in the eye.

3. Hugs are good for kids. Kisses do nicely too.

4. Thank God often for the good gift that they are.

5. When it's play time, join in. It's good for you too. Laugh, a lot, while you play.

5. Tell them stories. Tell then about relatives that are no longer around that made a difference to you. Tell them about your trials and your victories. Tell them kids stories and fairy tales. Telling stories forms a bond that can never be broken.

6. Listen to your kids. Don't make them have to say your name more than once to get your attention.

7. Try to never lose your temper. This is hard, but worth working towards.

8. Go to their events. Ball games, school singing programs, whatever. Your presence means the world to them.

9. If you are good at something or enjoy something, teach them to do it.

10. When they work to please you, affirm them.

11. Pray with them. These are some of the most precious moments you can spend with them.

12. Pray for them, every chance you get.

13. Always give then what they need and pick your spots wisely on the things they want.

14. Beat them to this question: "How was your day?"

15. Let them see you be serious AND silly. Both are needed equally.

16. Make their dreams your dreams and don't dream for them.

17. Do what you can to make them feel safe. Take care of that and you take care of lots of their worries.

18. Introduce them to Jesus.

I may add to the list later. But I know this is plenty for any parent to work on. If you have children, add your own in the comments!

Best of HYKW: March 2007

Lessons from the Trailer Park

I spent a good bit of my growing up years living in trailer parks. And I look back on those times with lots of good memories. And  I learned a few things there. My kids are fortunate enough to live in a house, however humble it may be, that their parents own. So I started thinking I should gather my trailer lessons and pass them on. Here's what I have so far.

1. Sometimes you'll work very hard and make very little money.

2. Little girls get bigger rooms than little boys.

3. You can have fun and not spend a dime.

4. Sometimes it's near impossible to avoid a fight.

5. Storms can be scary.

6.  It is possible to make it through a hot summer without AC.

7. The floor boards in the backseat of Volkswagen Bugs like to rot through.

8. Mac 'n' Cheese with Tuna is not quite Tuna Helper, but is still not terrible.

9. "Soup Beans" are full of protein and really good for you, but easy to get tired off.

10. You can grow up w/o name brand clothes and shoes and not be messed up later in life.

11. And speaking of those clothes, you really do get what you pay for.

12. Family is family whether you have money or not.

13. Once you are a parent, you are always a parent.

14. Trailer park friends are some of the truest you'll ever have.

15. God really does love the poor.

Best of HYKW: February 2007

Um, Jesus? You (used to) Scare The Hell Out of Me Part I

In coming to grips with my past and where my journey has taken me thus far as a Christian, I find that a good portion of my faith and actions were based on fear. And just being flat out honest? There is still a good deal of both that I base on fear. The Jesus that I knew of many times boiled down to someone who was only pivotal in whether I went to hell or not. and that took precedence over everything else. Even singing "Zaccheus was a wee little man" I imagined the part of Jesus, you know, "Zaccheus, you come down" (look up and point your finger demonstratively) as being stern and, well, mean.

There are many reasons for this. I grew up in East Tennessee and live here still. There is no shortage of Fundamentalism in my hometown and one of its main characteristics (in this area) is fear. I have joked at times that many of the Christians in this part of the country have made it their purpose to scare the hell out of folks. Literally.

Another thing that shaped this deep within me was the fact that one of my Grandmothers was Free Will Baptist. Every Sunday was fire and brimstone from the pulpit. I learned there that not only is salvation the narrow path, but you could backslide and still end up in hell. That was some scary stuff at times for a kid. I was quite certain a few times that I had no hope in ever escaping the fires of hell.

I'm sure there are many other reasons, and I may bring them up in another post, but these are the two that stand out in my mind.

Let me give you one example of what it was like growing up here...

I can remember being 16 and home alone one summer day. There was a knock at the door and found two sweet looking little old ladies standing there. They asked me if I had been born again. Those were scary words from my past at the Freewill Baptist church. I told them no. I mean, I had gotten away from that mumbo jumbo and now went to a United Methodist Church. We didn't talk like that. They shook their heads at my answer and proceeded to tell me I was headed straight to hell. I needed to "turn or burn" they said. They asked if I knew how bad hell was. I told them I did and that I didn't think that I'd be going there. I told them it wasn't something I was worrying about (lie). They wanted to come in and talk but I told them I was fine and didn't need what they had to offer. I spent the next month working on an ulcer.

And here is an example of how I have acted out of fear...

I don't know how many times I've felt "dirty" and thought I must not be saved because I listened to secular music. Growing up I was constantly hearing about secular music and how ALL of it, in one way or another, was the devil's work. Multiple times I was tricked into going to a youth rally that ended up being a rant against all music that was not of Christian origin. When I was in college, I took my entire CD collection at the time, about 75 CDs, to the local used CD store and sold them all after a speaker at the campus BSU laid some major guilt on me. Some of them I probably didn't need to be listening to, but most were just fine. I thought they would all send me to hell though and thought it best to get them out of my hands. I did the same thing a few years later. The guilt and fear had gotten to me again. I'm doing better with it these days.

So, with this being the introduction, I hope to post a 3 or 4 part series about this. Maybe you will enjoy hearing about it from the point of view of a regular old guy making his way in the world. I can't promise any good answers or deep and though provoking theological arguments. It will be more of a "where the rubber meets the road" kind of series. I hope you find it helpful as work I this thing out with God.

Um, Jesus? You (used to) Scare The Hell Out of Me Part II

In Part I, I gave you a little background. Now I'll tell you one of the ways it has affected me. 

When you are constantly confronted with the possibility of going to hell, and it is presented as the MAIN reason to seek salvation, then a major fear becomes the fear of death itself. I never felt certain enough in my standing with Christ as a young Christian. And again, being honest, that creeps up on me from time to time even now.

When you aren't certain, and you've been drilled over and over with the consequence of hell, death is about as scary as it gets. Even now when I think about my own death, there are times that I nearly go into a full blown panic attack. And this is two pronged.

When I was younger, this lead to the feeling that maybe there wasn't even a God. Because what kind of God is almost solely concerned with punishment? So here I am, thinking about dying, and maybe there isn't a God. The thought that death was the absolute end was and is the obvious progression. That was paralyzing to me. 

The other way thoughts of death would (and still do at times) nearly send me into a panic goes like this. There is a God and I am not saved like I think I am. So hell could still be around the corner for me. I examine myself, see the sin, and think "Man, I bet God is ticked at me. No way he can forgive this. I'm backslidin'."

(I feel like I need a paper bag to breath into right now. Do you know the thought that God is gonna be mad at me for writing this series has crept in a time or two?))

What kills me is that still happens. Often. And this method is being used on countless non-Christians. Maybe it doesn't happen much up North or our West, but it happens all the time here.

This all sounds awful and hideous and it is. When justice and punishment become 90-100% of the message at the expense of grace and mercy, you end up in constant fear. That's what I would like to talk about in my next post as you get to see some of my recovery.

 

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