Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you I love the movie Tombstone. There are plenty of reasons. It’s a western, Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, and well, gun fights galore! But the theme of friendship, and the way they play it between Wyatt Earp and Doc is my favorite part.
Near the end of the movie when Earp’s gang is cleaning house and taking out the “red sashes”, Turkey Creek Jack Johnson asks Doc Holliday, who is eaten up with tuberculosis, why he does it, referring to being out there with Wyatt getting revenge on the cowboys. It went like this:
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why do you do it?
Doc Holliday: Wyatt is my friend.
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc Holliday: I don't.
I have friends that I feel that way about. Friends I’d go to hell and back for. And hope I have some that feel that way about me. But there so many people in our lives that like to think they are this kind of friend and aren’t even close. If push came to shove, they could really care less. I am realizing my list is much smaller than I used to think it was. I also realize I’ve been one these pretenders myself. So this exchange, and this movie as a whole, always reminds me to remember who my friends are, keep them close, and go the distance for them. In some ways it shows me what brotherhood is all about. Oh, and it makes me glad I have a few Doc Holliday types in my life. Even if they aren’t as cool. :)
Later in the movie, as Holliday is on his deathbed, Wyatt comes to visit. It’s a heart wrenching scene as they begin by dancing around the inevitable. Finally Doc gets right to it. And it gets me every time:
Doc Holliday: What do you want Wyatt?
Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.
Doc: There is no normal life, there's just life, ya live it.
Wyatt: I don't know how.
Doc: Sure ya do, say goodbye to me, go grab that spirited actress and make her your own. Take that and don't look back. Live every second, live right on through the end. Live Wyatt, live for me. Wyatt, if you were ever truly my friend, or if ya ever had just the slightest of feelin' for me, leave now, leave now, please.
Wyatt: Thanks for always being there, Doc.
That is what friendship can almost always be boiled down to. Being there. So go, and be there for someone.
*initiating rant sequence*
I am so glad you posted this. I have had such a deep feeling in the same way of thinking lately. We have talked about it. The bottom line to our society is that we rarely do what we do not want to do as a people. What that has created is a wishy washy society bred to think that we can't hurt each other's feelings BUT we must do what we want.
This wishy washy attitude effects friendships in my life pretty consistently. It leads to friends who don't return calls or emails. It leads to friends who replace you with the latest crowd. It leads to friends who SAY they are your friend but just aren't ever around to SHOW it. And it all comes back to the fact that people do what they want to.
It's one thing to say you are friend and then ditch people at the slightest sign of anything. It's a completely different other thing to realize that your friends are making a commitment to you, it's only the right thing to do to return that commitment. I am blamed for being overly negative when friends come up with crap reasons for certain things...and I probably am. But I look at it a certain way...if I am willing to go out of my way to be your friend, should you not return that?
I have failed as a friend in many ways and have learned some stiff lessons because of it. Is it so much to expect those who say they are my friend to act like it? Don't call me your "dawg" or "buddy" and then bail every opportunity or come up with the same tired weak reasons why you can't do something. Don't tell me you want to grab a beer or hang out "sometime" if you aren't going to follow through. When I see these people they have the word "acquaintance" above their head, because that's all they act like.
Friendship is about being a friend...not being an acquaintance. Myspace, Facebook, Twittering, Instant Messages....they have all ruined real friendly interaction. Rich and I rarely speak on the phone for more than 2 minutes. We text, we chat and we talk in person. The weight of our interaction nowadays is in person interaction...that's the secret to how we became such good friends. You can get your Wyatt if you just sack up and realize what a true friend acts like...it's easy! Pretend you are who you want someone to be to you...
*rant complete*
Posted by: Ernpac | February 18, 2009 at 05:13 PM